Cultivating a Simple Life

Ocean City, MD. As I played with asana and the ocean, Lyra played with the camera and perspective. 

When my eldest was three we took our first family vacation. My father had rented a house at the beach and we were super excited. Not only was it our first vacation as a family, but my husband and I hadn't ever been on vacation together either.

I had been practicing yoga and mindfulness for a few years at that point. It was about half way through the trip when I noticed the place we were visiting was not that different from the place we lived ( aside from the Ocean). Being in a new place, with a different schedule, shifts the perspective and allows us to contemplate and feel the world in a slightly different way. Since that trip, my husband and I have always used our little times away to find something to bring back into our ordinary every-day lives. Each year, once we are home from our adventure, we contemplate what part we really loved and want to have more of in the ordinary. We are big fans of ordinary. Ordinary life is full of magic and when we give it attention, the sanctity of ordinary every-day life becomes amplified. 

This year we have been practicing stepping out of our routine a little more often. As we have done this, we have talked a lot about our work. We have talked about how we can cultivate less segregation in the various aspects of our lives, striving for even more holism.  We are trying to bring play into work and work into play, enjoying that work is simply another expression of ourselves. 

When we returned from our various adventures this year, I tried to focus on what we love about living where we do. I sought out the aspects of living in a small city and enjoyed them, cultivating the experiences we want as a family. We enjoyed fishing at the lake and walking to lunch. We had friends over to play in woods and shared foods from beloved farmers. It's just ordinary every-day stuff, and it's pretty magical. 

In next month's workshop, Suburban Simplicity, we explore how each of us can amplify the simple into extraordinary. Space is limited, please register here.

Vernal Equinox

Spring is here, in the Northern Hemisphere. A yearly renewal and regeneration of the land, and ourselves on this earth. As the world becomes fertile again, we also seem to be brimming with creativity and new direction. 

This is where I am. I feel excited by my fertile thoughts, my fertile heart and mind. I am past the longing for new babes, but the spring reminds me that all my work follows the universal rhythm of conception, pregnancy, birth, and motherhood. Whether we are creating humans or ideas, if we are anxious for the pregnancy to be over we miss the joy of creation.  I've stopped and pondered over this. It has brought back joy and grace to the creative process. Just like being with child, sometimes we are filled with joy and sometimes we are overwhelmed.

This pregnancy analogy led me to a birth comparison that resonates with how I was feeling this weekend. When we labor, we need support, intuition, and education. Even with the best preparation, there still comes a part of labor where it is just HARD, and we wish to give up.  With experience, we learn that if we ride through transition it will soon be time to push. It is like that when we are climbing toward some new accomplishment in our life, there reaches a point like transition.  We wish to give up. We need true and loving support, people who authentically understand what we are trying to do.  We need patience and faith.

Yoga, meditation and mindfulness practices help us ride this wave of insecurity. These practices allow us to observe our minds and hearts with awareness. Without this observer presence (curious, patient and probing), we may bow to fear and change course. With a practice of non-judgement, we can explore our path and wait out the transition phase. As hard as this part is, it's fun. It is the part of yoga, and labor, that I find most engaging. The gentle pushing by not pushing; the hard work of not working hard, and the relaxing into the fear. Suddenly, as soon as we relax into the fear, everything seems less scary and surreally beautiful. There is the magic.

Refreshment, Fertility, Renewal, Creativity. May we revel in the Sacred Magic of Spring. 

The surest way to develop an adversary is to label them the enemy.

Words have so much power. Even in our minds. Saying the word enemy activates an anxious sensation in my spine. When we are in conflict with another, it feels safer to label them as “against us” or at the very least separate from us. Can we be brave enough to remove those labels and experience the conflict without defense? What would that look like? How would things change?

It is hard to understand someone else’s perspective when we are in conflict. Our brain tries to protect us with the fight or flight response, deactivating the parts of the brain responsible for reasoning. If the conflict is dangerous, this may be helpful. Most likely, though, our brain has interpreted our confusion or anger as a lethal threat. We have a lot of responsibility to learn to manage our brains, especially in a world so ripe with conflict. If we want to make a more peaceful world for ourselves and everyone else, this is where the work starts. Can we tend and befriend when confronted with misunderstanding?

If we learn to soothe our brains and bodies when in discussion with others, we will not only be better able to understand them, but we will be better at expressing our views. We have a much greater chance of changing the minds of others when we approach the conversation with calmness, non-judgment, and love. When we approach a conflict in anger, we shut down all lines of communication. What is our objective? If the objective is to find a solution to the conflicts we face, we must recognize anger as a symptom of the problem. We must explore our anger and fear, we must get to know and understand it, then we must set it aside. Setting down our anger is not a weakness, it is not giving up. It is this strength of wrangling our anger into clarity that has the power to unlock problems. 

Are we brave enough to envelop a conflict with love? We can start small. Conflict is scary, but we cannot turn our backs on each other when we don’t agree. We cannot simply not talk to those who disagree with us. We cannot let conflict grow while we look the other way. We must face the scary feelings in our hearts and explore them in safety, on our own or with assistance from therapists, teachers or spiritual advisors. We must know ourselves, our values and our objectives. We must practice those values every day. 

It is hard work to live in peace. It is not easy, and it is our responsibility to do our own work and stand beside one another. 

Resources:

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/words-can-change-your-brain-andrew-newberg/1110791630

http://www.ted.com/talks/elizabeth_lesser_take_the_other_to_lunch

Yuletide

Our traditions have built one upon another over the years. They have grown up with us from the natural rhythms in our days and years. Ccelebration is an opportunity to revel in what is precious to us. We try our best to bring celebration into every day, but there is a need for a time when the work of working is less. 

For us, that time is Yuletide. Our Yuletide encompasses the space from Thanksgiving to New Year's Day. Thanksgiving starts us off with gratitude: for each other, for the work accomplished in the past seasons, for the fullness of cupboards and warmth of blankets, for this time to be alive together. We focus a lot on local nature, history and foods. We think about our farmers and enjoy the offerings available here in our own little corner of the planet. Thanksgiving weekend we cut our tree at a local farm and start decorating our house for Solstice and Christmas.

I paint the children an advent calendar with a winter scene each year; they take turns finding the chocolate behind the little doors each day. We also have an activity advent garland that lists the little things we will do each day to enjoy the season. 
Our decorations are simple:  holiday/winter books ( various winter holidays) and nature from our yard.  When we celebrate Solstice and Christmas we are celebrating the magical patterns of miracles in the natural, divine and human realms. 

All of our celebrations are simple. There is an ease to them as they have arisen naturally from our unique lives. Tradition and ritual allow a pause and a nod to what is sacred to us, specifically.  New Years Day serves as a quiet start to the big work of the new year. 

May 2017 be full of peace and good cheer.